Saturday, April 11, 2009

Why Shouldn't I?

I continue to struggle with my feelings of anger and animosity towards Driver A. I know deep down, this was an accident. He didn't mean for it to happen. He wasn't trying, or even planning,to hurt me. It just happened.

As a result, my life has been changed. I drove for the first time today. It's been three weeks. Daniel had a 7:00 am meeting at work so we were up at 5:30 so he could help me get ready. Needless to say, I went back to sleep after he left. I had my first physical therapy visit today. My in-laws, who have been helping with transportation, were unavailable and Daniel was at work. My options were to walk the 4 miles round trip or drive it. I'm lazy and drove.

I struggle with bitterness for this driver that has changed how I live. I am broken and struggling with normal everyday tasks. As a Christian, I am working hard to forgive.

Jesus was beaten. Criticized. Spat upon. He bled and suffered far more than I ever have or ever will. He was tormented by people that hated him. Betrayed by people that just a week before were singing his praises. Battered and bruised he was forced to carry the instrument of his death through a hostile crowd. He had a crown of thorns thrust into his head. His wrists suffered far greater trauma than mine as the nails were pounded into them to bear the full weight of his body as he hung on the cross to die.

He suffered all of this. Why? For love. To give us the opportunity to be with him forever. As he hung there, after suffering through so much, he said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

This flawless, perfect man took the sins of the entire world on himself for love. He suffered atrociously at the hands of people that hated him. And yet, he forgave them, took care of their punishment, and died for them.

If he can forgive such horrendous things, why shouldn't I forgive Driver A? My "suffering" pales in comparison.

I can't claim to be flawless or perfect but I am loved. I am forgiven. And as a follower of Christ I am to love as he loves, forgive as he does.

Driver A? I know you're not reading this and may never even know this, but I forgive you. It would be my prayer that you are well and find Jesus this Easter season.
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